Without any argument, the best sex episodes that a couple can have must involve mutual enjoyment and pleasure, but it has been found out that there are some women who somewhat suffer from the problem of frigidity in their sex life. If this will ever be addressed properly, the couple must find out the actual causes of the problem.
What is referred to as frigidity?
The term “frigidity” is often misunderstood, though it is commonly used to define a sort of dysfunction in the sexual performance of a woman. A woman is frigid when she does not derive total satisfaction from sexual intercourse. In other words, the woman lacks erotic feelings during sex; it also refers to a condition whereby she fails to reach orgasm in spite of sexual feelings experienced in the intercourse.
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Nevertheless, it is also believed that if the woman responds to sexual feelings and doesn’t express it in words or body movements, it doesn’t mean she is frigid. It may just be an orgasmic dysfunction, though she enjoys the intercourse.
Causes of Frigidity
• Fear of sex – some wives see sex as something frightening. This is often linked to their past experience of honeymoon when they had sex for the first time.
• Wrong societal beliefs – there are wrong beliefs about sex in some parts of the world as follows:
• Women should think less about sex.
• Sex is for procreation alone.
• Sex is vulgar and should not be discussed, even with their husbands.
• Women should keep mute during intercourse. They should not express their feelings in any way.
• Women should tolerate sex while men should enjoy it.
• Wrong religious beliefs – unconsciously, some women are affected by false notions about sex as follows:
• Sex should not be had on a Sunday. If their husbands demand for love-making on such a day, they will unconsciously become sexually non-responsive.
• The mindset that sex is unclean. This will not give such affected women full concentration on the sexual feelings, thereby making them unable to reach orgasm.
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• Fatigue – this is peculiar to women who overwork themselves through their daily routine activities at home and in workplace. Similarly, if the woman is sick, she won’t respond to sexual love.
• Drugs – a woman who has just had a recent experience of being hospitalized won’t be sexually active. Also, there are some drugs that inhibit libido.
• Sexual trauma – there are women who have had an experience of rape at childhood or teen stage of life, and the effect linger on their minds. There was the case of a man whose wife would just lie still like a log of wood without any feelings for sex. It was during counselling that she confessed that she was once a rape victim and the past experience created a sense of bitterness in her mind against the male, including her husband.
• Ignorance – lack of insight on the totality of sex will limit the sexual performance of a woman.
• There are women who deny their sexuality at the sub-conscious mind.
• Many don’t even know what marriage and sex entail in a relationship.
• The worst case is when a woman considers sex as a duty to perform towards her husband, rather than a thing of mutual love and pleasure.
Generally, the causes of frigidity are majorly psychological rather than physiological in nature. The enjoyment of sex primarily starts from the mind and the emotions, and then the body’s responses will be meaningful.